Karma

My introductory talk when we first board the coach at the beginning of a tour includes a discription of the coach features...one of these being the "restroom" that is available for the guests biological needs. I always stress that it is there for "emergency use only", which means, "if you really, really have to go...go." I mention that we make rest stops frequently so, for the olefactory comfort of everyone on the coach, only use the coach toilet if absolutely necessary. Now, I think that leaves a lot of leeway for any individual to decide if they need to use it or they can wait. Everyone acknowledged that they understood the concept.
So the next morning after the first night at our hotel a gentleman comes to me and says..."We have a problem..." I immediately think..uh oh, here we go again. So he proceeds to tell me that his wife has bladder issues and because she wasn't allowed to use the toilet on the coach she is in serious pain and they are considering renting a car for the duration of the tour so they can stop when they need to.
The wife then came over and was, how can I put this, quite "pissy" with me. I apologized and explained that she should have used the toilet on the coach since that was obviously an emergency. She was eventually appeased and got over her annoyance. Later that morning on the coach I clarified the directive..."Only use the coach toilet in an emergency...and YOU decide when it's an emergency."
Fast forward two days to this afternoon on the Swamp Tour. The guide had a little real live aligator with its mouth taped shut which he was passing around the boat so people could hold it and take pictures with it. The little fellow made the rounds and when it was "Mrs. P's" turn she held him up where she sat so hubby could snap the picture.
I guess the poor little guy was stressed or nervous because he immediately relieved himself in her lap! She began screaming and everyone on the boat roared with laughter. I managed to get a few shots in spite of my own hysterical reaction. When everything settled down I went over to her and said, "I guess he has "bladder issues" too!"
Did I ever mention...you can't make this stuff up?